Select a sentence from another writer (preferably a literary one) and analyze the sentence based on the principles of writing we have discussed in class. Try to understand the intention behind the structure and think about how effectively it communicates its ideas. The sentence might be an excellent example of a cumulative structure, or a poor one; the choice is yours.
11 comments:
Mimi
(1) Feeing tired and dirty after a night spent in the train,(2) karenin drove through the mist of a Petersburg morning alone the empty Nevsky Avenue, (3)staring straight before him and not thinking of what awaited him.
The main sentence of this sentence is number (2), “Karenin” is the subject of this sentence, and drove is the verb of this sentence. The subject of number (1) is also “ Karenin”, sentence (1) is Adv. Relative clause which motivates the sentence (2). The original sentence of number (1) should be “Karenin feel tired and dirty after a night spent in the train”. Sentence (3) “staring straight before him” is quite unclear we don’t know who “staring straight” and who is “him”. Him seems like to describe “ Karenin” but seems not if “him” is “Karenin” and then who is staring, so here is not very clear to the readers. The last part of sentence (3) “and not thinking of what awaited him” here’s “him” is likely to describe “ Karenin” This sentence can be rewritten as following may be will be more clear to the reader.
Karenin feel tired and dirty after a night spent in the train, driving through the mist of a Ptersburg morning alone the empty Nevsky Avenue, staring straight forward and not thinking of what awaited him
That is only a brief opinion of mine.
Yvonne
The sentence:
[level 1] Again she wanted to defend herself, but she was powerless: [level 2] she was holding the collection-box in one hand [level 3] ( nobody bothered any longer to drop a single coin into it, [level 3] but she held it as tightly as if it contained all her honour, the meaning of her life, perhaps her very soul), [level 2] while her other hand was immobilized by the clochard’s grip.
It is a right-branching sentence. The base clause apears right at the beginning, and it is compounded with the conjunction “but”, which introduces a short sentence with only three words and gives a simple description. Then, the colon following the word “powerless” gives more details about her gestures and explains how she was powerless. The choice of the beginning word “again” emphasizes her suffering from the continuous, embarrassing situation. Then the author uses the parentheses to furthurly imply the awkward situation that “nobody” “bothered” to donate any “single coin” into her collection-box. The word choice of “drop” instead of “donate” indicates a tone of negative meaning, which is a sharp contrast to her enthusiasm of her fundraising for the lepers. (It is mentioned in the former sentences in the novel.) The three following noun phrases, “all her honour” “the meaning of her life” and “her very soul”, give a moving rhythem and echo the adverb “tightly”, and that it seems she was protecting and holding her honour, her meaning of life and her soul tighter and tighter, deeper and deeper in the very box. Those noun phrases also give her box some weight and heaviness. In the last part of the whole sentence, the author now comes back to the second level to describe her other hand, which was unable to move by the grip of the vagrant. The passive voice here shows her unwillingness and powerlessness, contrasting her other hand described before, with an active voice, holding her box determinedly. Again, the word choice is clever here. “The clochard’s grip” signifies that she was trapped in this particular situation and the vagrant also constrasts her noble motivation of raising money for lepers, whose appearances are somehow also similar to the vagrant, with uncomfortable, ill or rather dirty skin condition. The use of contrasts gives a push-and-pull effect and creates the intenseness of the situation.
Kennie
(1)To the evening time-sharing, (2)the autumn setting sun according to
the red sky, (3)has been piled the silver peak in that golden yellow
cloud which reappears, (4)simply makes one think is "the heaven" steeple.
I think the main sentence is number (2), the main subject is the autumn setting sun, this sentence is present perfect passive voice. The (1) sentence,” To the evening time-sharing” is the time of this sentence, “the autumn” is also the time, but it’s more large-scale, it’s not specific. The red sky, why the author used the color “red” to describe the sky? Because of the time, the evening and sun set, the sky become red. The cloud is near the sun, and the sun is shine, so the clouds become golden and yellow. The silver peak is means the top of sun. Sun is a circle shape, when the sunset, the top of the circle was the silver color and look down of the circle, the color is gradually become orange and red. So the sliver top hide behind the cloud, likes the steeple. We all think heaven is above the sky, so the heaven steeple obviously on the sky.
The landscape around him is just a temporary thing, there is no permanence to it. He simply acknowledges the possibility of rain, a certain odour from a shrub. As if his mind, even when unused, is radar, his eyes locating the choreography of inanimate objects for the quarter-mile around him, which is the killing radius of small arms. He studies the two onions he has pulled out of the earth with care, aware that gardens too have been mined by retreating armies. --The English Patient--
The landscape around him is just a temporary thing, there is no permanence to it (This man is a mine cleaner. I love this sentence because it infers things under a war could not have warranties, can be easily demolished. What have been seen today could disappear tomorrow). He simply acknowledges the possibility of rain (main clause), a certain odour from a shrub (supportive. I like the linkage between the smell of the tree and the pending of the rain). As if his mind, even when unused, is radar (Main cause. Using radar to describe his characteristic as if being a part of the machine he handles. I also like the phrase “even when unused”, which is a sign of the affection of his job, he would keep very carefully even when resting), his eyes locating the “choreography” of inanimate objects for the quarter-mile around him (supportive. The word choreography is funny, just like things through his observation were arranged in a certain way, reminding me the arrangement of mines, and how carefully the cleaner should deal with those mines as to arrange a dance), which is the killing radius of small arms(Third level). He studies the two onions he has pulled out of the earth with care, aware that gardens too have been mined by retreating armies. (Using onions to symbol the mines.)
Although this paragraph doesn’t mention any words like “carefully”, or “vigilant”, but the metaphors relating to his job like “the ordour of the shrub”, “radar”, “small arms”, “studies onions like mines”, “choreography”, linking to the way he observes things, give a clear picture about this man, and how he had been affected by his job and the war.
Arron
kristine
And if I say to you that I am glad of everything we have done together, and sorry that we will not be here together in forty years, laughing at a faded photo of you impersonating a lion, it having weathered well, you less so, as we stand fabulously old, in a city that understands what spirit it takes to be old, to be beautiful, to be much looked at, to be itself, to be never quite caught, to have a past, to be content, to have seen much, to have remained, to have continued...
There is a beautiful contrast in the first two phrases, whereby two very opposite emotions were displayed – feeling very happy and then sorry. Immediately it tells the reader that there is a story behind the first sentence, and that the same story has come to an end in the sentence following it. Hence there is a slight mystery to lure the reader into reading on.
However, instead of moving on to the present state of time, the writer decided to suck the reader back into her old fond memories, and begin to reveal snippets of her love story through a snap shot of a photograph. A photograph is a shot where time and space is captured in that very moment and every detail with the click of the shutter is frozen to develop a picture. However, the description of that photograph by this writer is ongoing, as if this photograph is moving like a clip, even though the character in the image is stationery. Also, even though she seemed to be indulging in a past memory, she deliberately lead her readers into her present time with the mentioning of “it having weathered well, you less so,” telling us that the character in the photograph may be frozen in time and space, but he is actually aging in the real world.
Finally, there is a whole string of repetitions, almost too many, but has this romantic slowing effect to walk the reader into her memories and her thoughts. Then the writer finished the sentence off with “to be continued”, which led us into unknown anticipation and developed a room for our imagination to complete her story. It's almost like a cliffhanger,though it wasn't really that since the ending didn't just come to a halt - it slowly faded out with the use of repetitions to wrap up the whole story and seemed fit to be considered as having an appropriate ending. In sum, I like how in just one sentence, so much is being revealed and yet there are so many possibilities to how her readers may interpret those words.
（1） With a sign of relief,（2）Ferrier looked to right and to left,（3）until,（4）happening to glance straight down at his own feet,（5）he saw to his face upon the ground, with arms and legs all asprawl.（These sentence from the SHERLOCK HOLMES mystery）
The main clause is（2）Ferrier looked to right and to left, Ferrier is the subject and looked is the verb,（1）is an adjective phrase modifying the subject－Ferrier,（3）until is connected with （5）he saw to his astonishment a man lying flat upon his face upon the ground with arms and legs all asprawl, together is a subordinate clause modifying the verb－looked,（4）happening to glance straight down at his own feet is an adjective phrase also modifying the subject Ferrier. Regina
Rita
“The stairway rise up through the lobby, with their metal treads, disappearing mysteriously into the far recesses of the museum; the effect is cinematic – Piranesian, even – and wholly compelling.”
-From Taipei Times, Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The new architecture with a curved stairway has created a futuristic style for a new Italian museum. Therefore, emphasizing on the stairway in the first phrase, using “rise up” enlarges elevations for the readers, and using “though” leads people into different directions. The second phrase reveals the material - bare mantel – a popular element representing the contemporary art. Mantel is sharp, hard, cold, but modern. In the third phrase “disappearing mysteriously,” beautifully gives the stairway a heavenly image rising into an unknown space. “The recesses of the museum,” where is the end of the stairway, matches the ideas of careless heaven. The last sentence is reinforcing the design of the stairs which gives us a dramatic cinema look attractively and surprisingly showing all the impossible angles and haunting views.
“She touched the edge of the sheer curtains beneath; yellow, brittle, they billowed dust.” The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards.
This is one of the sentences Edwards uses to describe a room that has become old and rusty. Instead of using direct subordinate sentences, Edwards replaces with commas to separate her sentences throughout the novel. Edwards acknowledges the importance of reading fluency for the audience over fixed and old-fashion grammatical writing style. By using a semi-colon in this sentence, it is clear to the readers that “yellow” and “brittle” are parallel adjectives to “sheer” in describing the curtains. The sentence would have completely lost its weigh if all the adjectives referring to the curtains were placed orderly, which becomes mundane: “…the edge of the sheer, yellow, brittle curtains beneath.” Also, the word billow is a great diction in comparison to synonyms such as “fragile” or “breakable” because Edwards brilliantly adds a natural rhyme to the sentence: yellow, brittle, billow. Every object mentioned in room is described in one sentence, this means that Edwards is a clear-cut writer who does not like to drag on something that is unnecessary, disregarding to the dull grammar rules.
diane
Grace
A father’s love is like a grand oak tree,
(1) standing strong against the forces of time,
(2) standing against the wind blowing free,
(3) waiting for the children to climb
The base clause is “A father’s love is like a grand oak tree,” followed by three subordinate clauses with an aim to modify the ‘oak tree.’ However, readers can easily find that the author use the means of metaphor. Sentence (1)(2)(3) are not only depiction of the oak tree, but also embodiments of a father’s love. Sentence (1)(2) imply that a father’s love is like a harbor, giving protection and consolation to his children. Sentence (3) implies that a father’s sacrifice for his children.
Personally, I don’t think the thimbles count as a proper collection, because she got the whole lot, including the cabinet, from an ad at the back of the Mailon Sunday magazine. But she never tells anybody that. In fact, I shouldn’t have mentioned it.
The sentence “I don’t think the thimbles count as a proper collection” is a disagreement. However, the reason he gave to us is meaningless. He could have given more specific or “personal” ideas for it; for example, some people prefer collecting Barbie dolls to thimbles for some reason. Maybe readers want to know why he didn’t consider the thimbles as a “proper” collection. I think he could have used more modifying phrases or clauses to support the idea.
Lu-Ting
You fit into me
you fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an oen eye
Margaret Atwood
This poem gives more extension to the reader when reading it because:
It is unrhym poem.A poem has no capitalazation, no puntuation like comma or dot.It seems no openning and ending.
" a fish hook
an open eye"
those words are a group of noun with no verb without any movement and action;It is just stop at there, and made(it makes) reader thinking.
(1)He missed everything about her; (2)he missed the way she rubbed his shoulders after he came in on cold winter evening,(2) he missed the way they used to sit together and listen to music on the radio while they sat on the porch out back, (2)he missed the way she smelled after dabbing her chest with powder,(3) an odor that was simple and clean, (3)fresh like a newborn.
(Nights in Rodanthe-Nicholas Sparks)
(1) is the main of sentence.
But(2)beside are coordinate the (1), still can become a independent sentence by itself.
It is a right branching sentence.
The writer repeated the phrase "he missed the way she..." in the beginning of each sentence to emphasize that he missed his lover too much by expressing his deep feeling about her again and again "he missed..".
Annie
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