The Green Eyed Monster - Jealousy
Today's topic is jealousy. Is it animal instinct or human invention? In a very interesting interview, psychologist David Buss stated that in many ways jealousy is "a survival mechanism for long term relationships." What Buss suggests is that jealousy is a reaction by men and women to a looming threat to their relationship. For men, jealousy is often triggered to fend off rivals. For women, jealousy is often used as a test of the strength of the relationship. What's your take on jealousy?
12 comments:
As soon as I saw the topic, I could not help wondering: Why is the monster with green eyes? Why is not the red eyed or purple eyed monster? and by that I mean, jealousy is a bad emotion, and sometimes it is even a strong emotion, right? Green, sounds not only calm but also peaceful. It seems that green is too weak a color to represent jealousy.
Any way,it's just a weird idea of mine.
Rachel
An excellent question Rachel! The term was first used by Shakespeare in his play Othello, but short of that there is no particular reason for linking green to jealousy. I have always supposed the connection to be based the association of green with sickness and even poison.
Incidently, green, in the West, is also connected to Envy. Envy is similar to jealousy, but not exactly the same. Jealousy is the fear of something you think is your being taken from you and envy is the desire to take something away from someone else.
- Paul
We also use "green" in a bad thing. "我戴綠帽- I wear a green hat/cap" means that my wife has a love affair. In ancient Chinese, colors were used to grade people and green was a degrading color. A prostitute's husband wears a green hat. Prostitution was legal then.
Mei-ling
A very fitting example Mei-Ling. I once read that the Chinese also associate green with the female Yin. Is that true?
- Paul
female Yin? What is that? Could you please tell me more about it. Thanks.
Mei-ling
I wish I could but I don't actually know much about it. The Yin and the Yang are the dividing principles of people. Take a look at this symbol: http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=yin+yang&gbv=2
Does that help?
- Paul
I am sorry that I can not give an answer to your question. My knowledge on the ancient Chinese cosmology is almost none. I just know Yin/陰 and Yang/陽 - sort of dualism who are used in many ways by some people.
Did the old Chinese people associate green with Yin? I don't know either. I just know that we have "五色- five colors" and green is among them. I never understand them. They are too metaphysical. Sorry!
Mei-ling
it may not be only human invention, the gods also envy humans...
"The gods envy us. They envy us because we are mortal, because every moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed"---from the movie Troy
people are jealous of others because they feel inferior in some ways. one wouldn't be jealous if he/she can accept others' uniqueness wholeheartly and they don't feel their existence is threatened by other's greatness.
Jealousy in relationship relates to the need to possess and lack of security. A very jealous boyfriend or girlfriend is something to avoid unless you want to be on the news.
In NIV Old Testament, we can find that "God is jealous" in many places. The explanation I heard was that the relationship between Him and us is like the one of wife/husband - a commitment relationship. God would not jilt us so He doesn't want us to jilt Him either.
I like David Buss's theory on jealousy. It is good to know that men and women will try their best to keep long term relationships. I also like men's reaction on jealousy. It sounds like animals try to protect their territories from others. I love it.
Mei-ling
Mei-Ling wrote:
In NIV Old Testament, we can find that "God is jealous" in many places. The explanation I heard was that the relationship between Him and us is like the one of wife/husband - a commitment relationship. God would not jilt us so He doesn't want us to jilt Him either.
I think that's quite accurate. In university we read a book titled "The Book of J." The book claims that one of the original sources for the old testament was a woman in Solomon's court. Thus, the suggestion that God in the old testament is somewhat like a short tempered grumpy husband isn't as far off as it may initially sound. If you are interested here is a link for the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Book-J-Harold-Bloom/dp/0802141919/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218089127&sr=8-1
- Paul
Jennifer wrote:
Jealousy in relationship relates to the need to possess and lack of security. A very jealous boyfriend or girlfriend is something to avoid unless you want to be on the news.
Interestingly, some people argue that maybe you do want a slight amount of jealousy as a reminder that both partners are passionately commited to one another. If you don't feel any jealousy at all, how far away from indifference are you?
- Paul
not very far.. :D
just kidding.
i agree a little jealousy could add spice to life.
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